We are a Doctorine/Dogma Free Organization. We are a church only in our concepts of unity and world Consciousness.
A Quantumist is a person who believes there is a force that drives existence and gives all matter form from its own consciousness.
I believe that this force is "GOD" and God is Quantum Consciousness or a greater consciousness that exist on all realms of existence and being and this is the force behind reality and that force forms the very atoms of which the entire multi-dimensional universe/s. However, you need not believe this to join us in global consciousness no one is excluded here.
A Quantumist is not limited to the teachings of this church and understands that the CQC is only a guide. A Quantumist may also be a part of any other religion. An Example is, If you are a Christian you would be a Quantumist Christian or a Christian Quantumist, it is up to you how to perceive the meaning of our church.
The CQC Church of Quantum Consciousness is a belief system "not a church in the traditional sense" based on the idea that all kindness based belief systems have a commonality in the fact that all humans have an inherent need to seek an awareness of a greater being or purpose in life. This means there is no abandonment of your current beliefs if you have them but rather that we can augment and solidify your own belief system(s) with a greater knowledge of the true nature of reality. Since it is the individual that feels, receives intuitions and has the faith we believe that it is only the individual who can seek a greater understanding by greater awareness. So when the individual decides to expand their existence to recognize what their true feelings are and what their intuitions mean, it is when they can put a deeper meaning to their own consciousness, church and religious or spiritual organization. This is why the CQC is based on the individual and not the church. I decided to form the Church of Quantum Consciousness to help people see within themselves and so that those seeking a point of entry into the spiritual world will have a doorway to step through and find their own spirituality.
What does the CQC view God as? God is the Universal or Quantum Consciousness. This idea is based in Quantum Physics, which now sees the need for Consciousness in order for the universe to exist. Whenever we refer to God we are referring to the Universal or Quantum Consciousness; all we see, touch, or feel, all the forms and materials that make up the universe, and all life that exists within this consciousness. Therefore the Consciousness of God is all things and we exist within God as part of God.
The greatest gift from God is our consciousness. This is what is created in God's image; our ability to see beyond the illusion of reality to the truth that reality is the consciousness and not the materials we see around us.
The CQC views all things as part of God. There is no need to worship in building or spiritually seek god in any one place. The only way to connect with God is from within you. Enlightened people have given us their insights into this consciousness and formed religions based on belief systems and concepts on these enlightened views. These are the guides to God, they do not exist in just one religion but within all of them. It is the personal perceptions of the world that dictate our beliefs; therefore, to recognize that your perceptions are only yours and you cannot perceive as others do is to realize that your journey to enlightenment starts first with accepting how you perceive the truth is only your perception.
I will be posting ideas and concepts that I have been enlightened by. However, these are not set ways to finding God. I only want to provide you with a guide and/or a place to start looking. There are no set rules as you have enough control over your existence to make some of your own rules, but in the end you must work within the guidelines of God. I do not want anyone to think that my way is the only way, it is not. However, the most enlightening idea I would like you to explore is that you must find yourself before you can find God. You must open your mind to the whole and look beyond yourself by looking into yourself. It is in science we can see the need to try and understand the nature of existence. Trying to understand the nature of existence is in understanding consciousness and how we interact with it.
The rest is up to you.
Spiritual Consciousness the betterment of the soul.
Spiritual consciousness is completely different then social consciousness or awareness. Being conscious of social issues is important but knowing your own consciousness is more important.
Each of us spends much time in altered states of consciousness. Many of these times we don’t even realize that we are having an altered moment or disconnect from our physical consciousness so to speak. While we go about our day mesmerized by this illusion of reality and acting out a the play we all call life we fail to realize the extent of our existence and the powers of our own consciousness.
To give validity to your consciousness you must first realize it is separate and with us at the same time and it is what we are. Taking into account that your body is made of living cells and over a life time those cells will be replaced many times over. As we age we see the inability of those individual cells to re-produce exactly the same, contributing to the aging process and the brain sends signals to also age us. However, did you ever think that in reality your body has died numerous times over your life time yet your consciousness remains intact and unchanged? How is this possible, if death is such a final aspect of existence? I feel it is quite simple, death is not final it is only a step in the evolution of your consciousness or soul.
No one man or women or better yet being is permanently affixed to the physical body. A simple interpretation of the brain is all we really need to understand why it is such a mysterious organ to scientist who want to explain it in its entirety. The brain is simply a router in a sense sending and receiving information from the world and sending that information to your consciousness and in return receiving information from you consciousness to interpret and act upon. Allowing the thoughts and intuitions to pass from your consciousness into the understood reality in which we live. It is a gateway that allows us to experience this world and creates the bridge needed for a portion of your consciousness that is not in the body to interact in this reality. While at the same time we gain the experiences and knowledge learned while here in this reality in order to grow our consciousness in all realities. This means that the only really important thing about this existence is what you have learned while you are here. You must endeavor to gain a deeper understanding of your actions and why they are important and what you can learn from them. If you ignore what you have done you are learning nothing, at some point you will have to evaluate them, in order to grow and expand your consciousness.
If we begin to view the brain only as a gateway rather then a thought producer you begin to realize that it is consciousness that makes up a thought or idea easily explaining where thoughts come from. While science can show the thought or perception traveling through the brain it can not explain its moment of origin or why it is happening. They try but I don't have a lot of faith in what they are saying, so I think it is some really questionable theory. Science also can show the electrical path that a thought or idea may travel but it can not show how the thought creation as it is started. As most scientist and philosophers will agree it is usually the simplest answer that is the right one. So if you simply make one assumption just one, that consciousness exist both in unison and separately you can explain that the appearance of a thought in the brain, as a manifestation of a conscious idea not the creator of it.
So now, if you accept the concept that you have a soul/consciousness then accepting the idea that your soul is really in charge is a simple step. Once you do this the door opens up for a universe of possibilities. Just take a quite moment and think about something creative. Once you do, ask yourself where that thought came from? So did your brain just start random firing until you came up with an idea, or did you come up with an idea and then use your brain to materialize the idea in your head?
To further show my point that it is your consciousness feeding your brain information we can look at memory. Have you ever completely forgotten about something then a trigger, like a question or a smell sparks a memory. Then the more you think about it the more details that come back to mind. The more you concentrate the more of the memory that will begin to fade back into your mind. If the brain were programmed like scientist say it is, then those memories would be available for instant access. However, the further we travel in time and space from a memory the further it’s stored in our deeper recesses of consciousness.
This is what I call local and non local memory. Memories that are stored local are immediately available for use and can be access quickly and the brain is capable of storing massive amounts of information. In addition, we have our consciousnesses or soul memory. The subconsciousness acts as a bridge between them, giving us access to the non-local personal consciousness that is our true selves. But for most this only takes place when you are asleep. Always available just the access is a bit slower. This constant mix of conscious, sub conscious and non local consciousness are creating a ballet of thought, memory and intuition.
Non local consciousness both personal and worldly is sending us information all the time, now since your consciousness is existing beyond this time and space we must convert those intuitions ourselves into this reality. Let me bring up another example I believe most of us can relate to. I call it preparation thinking and intuition. What about when you start thinking of a friend you haven’t seen in years or maybe weeks for no real reason. The thought of this person just seems to pop into mind or when you are thinking of something that you would like to do or haven’t done in a while. Then very soon after these thoughts or memories just seem to pop into our heads, usually for me a day or two you run into that person or a conversation is sparked relating to that thought but you didn't start it. You will hear people say it all the time even a bit befuddled by it. You know, I was just thinking of that the other day or I was just thinking of him/her or you. This is your consciousness that is existing beyond your body guiding you. We have placed such blinders on ourselves and wrapped ourselves in this three dimensional world forgetting our consciousness is here for a reason. We don’t even notice these simple intuitive events and this is preventing honest self evaluation and facing our ugly sides as well as our good sides. No science written on the brain can explain these events they only hypothesize and/or dismiss them. Nor can any psychiatrist or physiologist explain the number of these events that take place in a life time. We call it coincidence so we can stay in our comfort zone of this reality and not have to face that there is so much more out there and deeper parts of ourselves that need evaluated.
The farther we stray the harder it becomes to accept what we really are. We are consciousness not flesh and bone bodies. Our bodies are made up of trillions of other living organisms called cells. This symbiotic relationship allows us to help them by feeding and protecting them, while they help us by providing a place for consciousness to reside while experiencing this reality.
This in my opinion is why people who are spiritual, truly spiritual, are under constant self examination. Realizing and admitting when they are hypocrites, or when they have hurt someone, or when they are being lazy. We should not make excuses for these things but when your intuition tells you it’s wrong, it’s wrong. It does not mater if someone else says it’s ok don’t sweat it. Yes, sweat it, your consciousness is trying to tell you something, if something is off in the air stop and evaluate why. It may well not matter to him or her but it matters to you otherwise you wouldn’t be getting signals from the real you deep in your spirit. Maybe you are here to evaluate yourself for this very moment and by following the lead of another, you will have to wait for another opportunity to learn to come around. This group mentality interferes with the ability of the consciousness to learn and grow and therefore is affecting your very being even beyond this life. What if you were supposed to learn one lesson during your entire life and you missed that because you missed every opportunity to explore that lesson and now you will have to relive and entire life to learn those lessons because you shut yourself off to your true needs and experiences you should have been having?
These questions about ourselves are the ones we have to answer; if you don’t feel you are living life like you should be you probably are not. So what do you do? Take a leap of faith on intuition? Why not, what can it possibly hurt in the big scheme of things. Most of the intuitions we receive are simple things that any of us can do. Others can be major life changes. I have restructured my entire life over the last couple of years but it’s working out. Was it easy? No it wasn't and in order for me to get where I need to it isn't going to get any easier any sooner. But I have decided to thrive on the struggle and learn from it. I have examined all the terrible things I have done, all the good things I have done and all the things I have no idea why I did them. I have faced my failings and found my strengths. Now that I’m aware, I see my mistakes sooner after making them and I do not have to wait a life time to evaluate myself. I am trying to improve who I am on a daily basis, some times with great success, sometimes with no success at all as I find myself slipping into life long habits. Now however, I’m far happier and I’m learning much more about the world I am living in and myself. Life is too short to worry about TV shows, money, political status or keeping up with the Jones’. In the big picture if you believe you have a soul or consciousness and that there is more to you then this physical body it is incumbent upon you to do something for that soul and its betterment.
I can only say this and it is up to you to decide if they are words of a fool or words of wisdom. Do what you have to do to grow your consciousness or soul, to better yourself and the world around you. Live in a world of wonderment not a world of fear. Never devote yourself entirely to one cause, always leave time to work for your own consciousness or soul.
I believe this, that in order to gain knowledge about your god or creator you must first understand your own consciousnesses. As it is your consciousness that is created in the image of god, not your body.
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Meditatoinal Camping Available on Limited Number of Sites
We also have several private camp sites for tent only. These sites are to be used as a spiritual get away and are located on our property in Back Mountain PA and are available to church members or people seeking meditaional time in nature.
We are located on the top of a mountain in a very private area, you will not have traffic passing by you but you may hear some farmers during the daytime hours. 1 Toilet is available as well as fresh water. This is a true nature style camping experience please contact us if you are interested. The sites are offered for a $25.00 donation Mon-Thru and a $35.00 donation for Fri-Sun. Maximum of 2 people per site special arrangements are available for larger groups. Noise must be kept to an absolute minimum. No drums or Music is permitted this is purely to enjoy nature in peace and quite and time to meditate.
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I start our journey into science with some quotes from two of the most famous scientists involved with quantum understanding.
These quotes show an insight that most do not realize even existed.
Considering these two men likely had more insight into the scientific bases of reality then most of mankind, we must marvel at their statements.
The Science
Behind
Quantum
Consciousness!
Some of the first photos
of Quantum Structure.
Max Plank
Quantum Physicist
1858 - 1947
Considered By Many To Be the Father Of Quantum Mechanics
The Following Quotes Are Enlightening when Really Examined!
"All matter originates and exists only by virtue of a force... We must assume behind this force the existence of a conscious and intelligent Mind. This Mind is the matrix of all matter."
"Anybody who has been seriously engaged is scientific work of any kind realizes that over the entrance to the gates of the temple of science are written the words: 'Ye must have faith.'"
"An important scientific innovation rarely makes its way by gradually winning over and converting its opponents: What does happen is that the opponents gradually die out. "
Albert Einstein
Physicist
1879 - 1955
One of the greatest minds of modern physics.
Some Great Quotes that deserve attention.
"All religions, arts and sciences are branches of the same tree."
"As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality."
"Everyone should be respected as an individual, but no one idolized. "
"Everything that can be counted does not necessarily count; everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted."
"Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts."
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Quantum World
The quantum world is the basis for my shift in beliefs and my reason for starting CQC.
It is my opinion that in order to start to understand our existence we must first understand or have faith in some of quantum physics.
Amit Goswami PhD
"Consciousness is the nature of being"
A must see Documentary or book to read if you are trying to understand the true nature of consciousness.
Here we delve into a world of science that most people have no understanding of; Logic and Einstein's universe of gravity and time disappear when we enter the quantum world. In addition, logic does not apply to much of quantum science. It is based in observations and experiments. It is a difficult field for even the scientists themselves.
There are several topics that you will need to know in order to understand the basis for our church.
Try to understand that the particles that make up atoms are actually vibrations or waves. This means there is no matter that makes up the basic components of atoms, only vibrations or waves. Since all matter is made up of atoms and atoms are made up of vibrations, then matter really does not exist. It is the force on the vibrations that make up matter and these vibrations have to be intelligent. Since intelligence must drive the most basic structure of matter, it is the consciousness behind this force that is God. If you want to see proof of a greater consciousness, just look at everything around you. You will realize that the reality of the very small is only vibrations driven by a Greater Consciousness. In turn, everything you are made of that is matter is a direct result of a Universal or Quantum Consciousness. This is not my belief; I only adopted it from the great minds working in Quantum Physics. If you have faith in these statements or already understand them you are ready to enter the consciousness of our church. If not, I have materials below to help you build an understanding of the quantum world in which the CQC bases its teachings.
Here are a set of links to help you explore the science of our church:
The Nature of Matter at a Quantum Level, Quantum Entanglement, Holographic Universe, and Quantum Consciousness
All the links that are listed to the right are searches so you can choose what you want to explore. Try to stay with the science as it's easy to get sidetracked quickly!
If you already have faith in the scientists and their theories, then you only need to understand what I stated above to move forward with understanding the CQC.
Conclusions & Tests
There are many conclusions we can have from the science behind the quantum world. Which are most important to you?
Conclusions
These are conclusions that myself and others have made.
They may not be the same as yours.
Reality is an illusion created by a Quantum Consciousness.
The Quantum Consciousness is God.
Quantum understanding is the understanding that anything is possible and nothing is possible without consciousness.
We are part of a greater whole and the greater whole is part of us.
We have been gifted consciousness to share in the mind of God.
In turn this reality in which we live exists only because of God's creativity and imagination.
Perception is everything because no two people can share the exact same perception.
Consciousness exists beyond the perception of reality and the programming of our brains.
Perception of reality is based on individually learned associations in this reality. Imagination goes beyond this reality and is therefore the gateway to enlightenment.
You cannot truly share your individual perceptions.
You can only try to articulate the end results.
Enlightenment is a path that only the individual can travel.
Tests
Individual Perceptions
Get one other person to view or read a short story with you, then write a quick synopsis of the story. Compare and you will see differences in each other's perception by what associations were made. No two people will write the same synopsis, but many will have the same conclusions.
Greater Whole
You can view the greater whole by looking at your place in it on a very simple level: Look around you.
Did you make the clothes you are wearing? Construct the TV you own? Build the car you drive or grow the food you eat? If not, who did? How did your purchases affect the world or the makers of those things?
Has anyone ever thanked you for anything? Why did they thank you...did you positively affect that person? Did that person go home in a better mood? Did that mood make others feel better?
Have you ever felt lonely? Have you ever helped someone not feel lonely intentionally or unintentionally?
After examining the above do you feel you are you part of a greater whole?
Intuition
Has an intuition ever helped you in your life?
If so, where did it come from? Why did you have it? Do you think you will ever have another? If you have a helpful intuition that couldn't have been learned from prior experience, then where did it come from? Could God have given you that perception because you are connected to the greater whole of God's consciousness?
Teachings
Teachings from the CQC are an ever-evolving means of understanding our existence. It would be pompous and arrogant for me to state that I know or understand everything. Only God has that understanding. We are learning about existence and understanding ourselves and our place within the Quantum Consciousness, therefore this is a continually evolving topic. Some ideas may hold true for millennia while others may change quickly. I believe that as we grow in understanding and expand our potential, we will have to change our view of the universe and realize this as another of God's great mysteries.
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You will find our teachings are much different then the standard set by schools and other religions. Here you are asked not to believe what we say but research things we say and find your own conclusions. We can not tell you what the Universe wants you to know, only when you find it will you know it's right. This is our first and most important lesson. You have intuition, you must learn to use it again. Most people dismiss intuition because it goes against their beliefs, those beliefs are formed by others around you.
Intuition, the most important tool you have and likely the least used.
Following intuition is a difficult thing, some times your intuitions go against everything you know to be real or fact. Some times intuitions are not correct but when they are you will know it if you are examine the intuitions you are having.
Let me give you an example: Your in an area where you normally feel safe, then something in your head tells you that your not safe, what do you do? If you have had this feeling what happened? Did you follow your intuition and move to a place you felt safe or did you ignore it and end up wishing you hadn't. Did you ever get a parking ticket and you knew in the back of your mind or your intuition told you that you would? I can go on but I think you get the point. Intuitions are with us all the time, the question is do you ignore them or embrace them or have you ever thought about embracing them on a regular basis?
Learning to understand your intuitions and what they really mean is on of the first steps in becoming self aware. Becoming self aware is the first step in learning to understand your place in the universe. This is because only if your self aware enough to see beyond the world laid before your eyes and see beyond to the other realms of existence that you can commune with, will you begin to see the subtle signs that God give you daily. No man, church, leader or any other belief can tell you what your purpose to the universe is. While the basics will be the same be good to one another and so on, your real purpose is only known by God and only by being in touch with the universal consciousness will you ever know your true purpose.
Negative
First we have to exam the negative influences that affect all of us. Some are obvious and others are more subtle. People have forgotten what it is like to be positive. If we exam today’s TV and is evolution to the worthless medium it has become. While there are some good shows on TV I'm forced to the realization that they are not popular. The biggest choice of views seems to be news and reality or so called reality TV. The reality shows are worthless in almost every way. Many of them focus purely on creating conflict, fighting both verbal and physical. While audiences can't get enough. If you a frequenter of these shows you have a long road ahead. However, it is worth it to turn your back on them. The news should be watched with an open mind, everything you hear must be checked and verified. Many news stations are distorting the truth. When you see a sound clip go on line and find the entire video. Manipulation of sound clips is one of the greatest ways that the mass media misleads you.
Next you must exam the negative in your life and those who are bringing it. This can be painful but you must be strong to stand up to those influences. It is difficult to break ties with friends but in some cases it has to be done. Some will accept your new life and beliefs but others will not and even more others will attack you. When you start to put the distance your true friends will emerge from the dark and the negative people in your life will fade away. Do not argue or stand your ground, simply accept who they are and move on. This subtle inaction will speak more words then anything you can ever say. I don't know your friends but you do, you likely already know who I'm talking about.
Then there is your internal struggle, this will continue for a long time, I still struggle with mine but let me give you a quick example of the change I made in hopes that you can figure out the changes you need to make. When I was reducing my bills and getting rid of things in my life I didn't need I called my cell phone company to buy out of my contract. Amazingly I found out it was still nearly $200 to buy out with just 4 months to go. This was upsetting because I was disappointed that I could not move forward from this high bill yet. Instead of getting mad at the young women on the phone I said "I'm so sorry you have to work for such and unethical company. I hope you can find a job one day that will allow you to not have to harm people like this. I understand it isn't your fault." I had her help me reduce to the lowest cost possible for that phone and moved on. I converted my anger into a subtle message, I knew in my heart she didn't want to do that and I saw no reason to harm her or try to harm her with words. Years ago I would have been enraged. Now I will change companies as soon as my contract is up.
The law of attraction is real, I have seen it working in my life. If you are positive then positive things will happen in your life. If you are negative then negative things will happen in your life.
Positive
Now that you have an idea of some of the negative influences in your life you can now look for the positive ones. In no way do you have the ability to see them all because most are very subtle. The most positive thing in my life was my wife. Her support and care helped me as she encouraged my continued exploration of my spirituality and my new dreams of expressing my idea's to others. She was there as we both grew in awareness and became very aware of our role in destroying the environment, empowering the elite and lack of action at our own spiritual and emotional costs. We lost many friends and even some family is distant now, but we have held fast that we will reject negative influences when ever possible and do our best to reshape a negative experience into an opportunity to show a positive side.
We now spend much time hiking and visiting nature and intend on moving out of the city. We no longer embrace gossip, violent actions verbal or physical but we will defend ourselves if needed but only as a last resort. We took all the negative things around us and being done by our government and turned them into a plan that allows us to relax now. We know it's there, we keep an eye on it but we passively do our part. We quietly move in the shadows. We buy less, we meditate more, we try to grow ourselves in positive ways that will benefit us and our friends.
We learned that perspective is everything and have we no right to bring our opinions to anyone. Therefore we have no need to gossip, just listen when needed and give an opinion in difficult situations only when asked. Conversations with friends are constructive and if they don't agree with us then they don't agree. We only ask that they do some research themselves. A grown man or woman is capable of making their own decisions and most difficult situations can be solved with a simple question instead of advice. Are you happy? If not do you know what will make you happy?
There are so many aspects to being positive I can't eve begin to cover them here. But be open with your partner, put your energies into things that will make your life meaningful and be positive about the world so you do not attract negativity into your life.
This is a portion of Chapter 4 from my upcoming book.
Chapter 4
Perceptions and a Positive and Negative World
The three perceptions of the world create the perceptions of the self they are perceptions that you have grown in your subconscious and dictate how you perceive the world. These perceptions have been influenced by every person in your life. These perceptions started first with your parents and moving on to friends, TV, co-workers and so on.
The first is learned perceptions; these are learned by physical interaction with the reality we know as the world around us. These form your view of the external world. These perceptions are influenced by everything your five senses have ever encountered. Many of them are so engrained that we do not realize they can be changed through self evaluation and in some cases we don’t even know why we have them.
The second is the perception of self, how you perceive your place in the world and in the universe. Some people examine their lives to realize they are defining their perception of self by their job performance or how others view them. From the inside we need to not only figure out how we view ourselves but is that what you want? For instance if you want to be a good person and help your neighbors or strangers are you doing things to fulfill that desire or are you doing things that will never reach that goal. Most of us want world peace, we want to help others or want to be a kind well looked upon person. It is only through self evaluation that we can determine whether we are actually working towards those goals and if we even know what our real goals are if we truly have any.
The third is the perception of your consciousness and how it evaluates the other two perceptions and integrates them physically and spiritually into the reality created by our minds. This is the deeper part of us that evaluates the world continually and makes the connection to the whole.
All perceptions are intertwined with your awareness and consciousness. It is our ability to change our perceptions via evaluation that allows us to move beyond a negative world and see a positive world around us. In addition this ability to change our perceptions leads to our ability to see beyond the physical world into the world of spirit and soul. We exist inside of quantum consciousness so we are not only individual consciousness but have the ability to be conscious of the greater whole.
Many people feel lost and unfulfilled in today’s world. Part of the reason is our inability to realize how our perceptions and self awareness are numb and unexplored. Here we will explore ourselves and determine what we are really seeking in the world and how we can fill our souls with positive outlooks and energy. Many people do not realize that subconsciously we may be inviting unhappiness or negative people and energy into our lives. I hope to give you an example in this chapter of how to change your perceptions and awareness so you can be more in touch with your own and non-local consciousness.
Let’s take a look at our consciousness and the immediate levels that we perceive and how we perceive them. This is a very important, you may divide your perceptions up as you see fit but recognizing them as steps in becoming more self aware of the world around you and the universe. Becoming more aware of the self is what allows us to perceive the intuitions and subtle signs given to us all the time by the non-local consciousness that in turn maintains the order in the world.
The relation of consciousness to the reality of the material universe is one key to self awareness. Once you begin to explore your internal and private thoughts and how you have formed them you will begin to see relations in your mind that were not obvious before. Consciousness is real, reality is not, it is only the perceptions made by consciousness of the world around you as “experiences” that make it reality. Experience molds perceptions; perceptions become reality but exist only in the material consciousness but have other meanings in the true reality of spiritual consciousness.
Understanding perceptions is necessary for spiritual growth, knowing why we are perceiving things in the world around us is paramount to understanding our personal awareness of yourself the world and the universe. In turn this expanded awareness is necessary to understanding consciousness and how you are perceiving it. I can not tell you how you perceive any of these things. It is only through self exploration that you will be able to understand yourself.
Awareness and Consciousness is a personal journey.